Just Like Stage Fright

I remember when I was in fourth grade and I was chosen to be the angel in the Christmas play. My line was simple, I still remember it clearly. “Rejoice, for unto us a child is born.” But on the day of the show, I didn’t expect to see a crowd of parents and families to be watching, that I froze the moment I walked on stage. I don’t remember how I got through that afternoon. I may have even ran to backstage and then out on centre stage again. All I know is that that was the last time I ever tried theatre. 

I get stage fright. I do. Even at things I know I’m exceptionally good at. There was a Math contest at sixth grade when I froze at an easy question. I knew the answer but as soon as I looked at the audience my mind stalled. I get stage fright. Just like today. I’m meeting my blog coach outside of the confines of the workshop for the very first time, on a one-on-one basis, to explore the possibilities of the world wide web of blogging. It’s not exactly my first time at blogging. There was Friendster, then Multiply and my current one, in Blogger. But those were different, more personal, more like a virtual notebook. No one necessarily read that, no one unless I gave out the link. No one that I know personally, at least. 

But now it’s different, because now I want an audience. I need to be heard. Because I feel like I have something to say. See but what if, just like theatre, no one shows up on opening  night? That’s what scares me. What if no one wants to listen? What if my story isn’t really worth telling?